Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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