Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
