And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
