she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
