So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
