I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
