i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
