last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you will always have a special place in my vag
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
