Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
