Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
