And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
