Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
