There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
