Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize