I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
