Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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