This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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