Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
