What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
