No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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