someone get that fucking seahorse.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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