I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
