also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize