You smell like a Billy Joel song
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You are the jesus of drinking
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
