We're facebook friends in real life
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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