i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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