how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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