Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
