She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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