He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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