the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Everclear isn't food dammit
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
