I must be too annoying 4 u.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
