They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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