apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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