he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
