Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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