Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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