He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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