Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
