Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We got so high we made milksteak
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Randomize
