can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
