ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
