ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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