Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
