At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
