youre lurking in front of me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
