Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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