Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
