She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
