I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
