Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
