Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
