i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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