I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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