I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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