____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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