so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just blew my weed a kiss
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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