Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
