arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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