All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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