I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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