What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
