The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just invented taco cereal.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
