So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize