Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
