Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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