Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
