my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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