Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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