I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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