She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
