We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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