have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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