and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
