I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
