my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My vagina just recognized that song.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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